Footloose Mardi Gras
by Noelle D. Gray
Summary: John, Zed, and Chas come home after the ordeal with Imogen to find a long time ally, Archangel Urielle, has been cast down and ready to help. The group will go to New Orleans in order to solve a weird spell that's taken over the city. Rated M for sex between Uri and Chas, violence and just incase. OH! This is gonna be a musical episode, so it'll be funny. Please review! (UPDATED)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

After the ordeal with Imogen, John, Chas and Zed arrived back at the house tired, speechless and ready for bed. Going inside, down the stairs and into the dusty room, the three were greeted by a noise that instantly woke them up. Someone was in the kitchen cooking. Chas grabbed a crow bar and led the way, Zed nor could John see anything. They heard a gasp coming from a woman and Chas dropped the crow bar. A small young woman with brilliant red hair tackled Chas and he held her, kissing her so John or Zed couldn't see any more than her legs and clothed arms (John could see the massive white angel wings) but Constantine knew this reaction from Chas. Archangel Urielle.

"The man upstairs won't exactly approve of you shagging Chas, and I won't approve of it being on my floor in front of me," John said breaking the silence. His words caused Urielle to laugh and look back at him.

"Wouldn't be the first time he was upset with me. Why do you think I'm here?" She said. He and Urielle knew each other well enough, John knew that she'd always been taken with Chas and knew she was one of the trickiest angels to get along with. Though if you were on her good side she was reliable and willing to help, she was quite handy to have around. Her meddling in human affairs often forced God to cast her down in punishment. Eventually she would go back up to heaven but that could take awhile. She had always been a friend and ally to the people of this work.

"What'd you do this time, love?" John asked.

"Told a virgin girl she was going to have a baby, orchestrated a few UFO sightings, a handful of things," Urielle replied climbing down, realizing he planned to cock block her until he was filled in. Now Zed could see this was a woman in her mid twenties, redhead cut chin length and shaved on one side, big blue eyes, friendly demeanor in a ruffled black and red skirt, brown boots, and dark red long sleeved shirt. This didn't stop Chas, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back against him. Chas enjoyed her company as most did but he had perks to his relationship with the Archangel.

"You did-...why would you do that?"

Urielle smirked, "It's funny what people will believe when it's told to them by an angel."

John rolled his eyes. "You're a sick piece of work sweetheart, headed straight to getting those pretty wings clipped."

"Not even a chance of that. I uphold everything the G man says-"

"Sleeping with Chas?" John cut in.

"The laws of the bible are for humans not angels. We're like the police."

"Right, you know multiple beings have told me in the old B.C. days you were actually pleasant," John said leaning against a bookcase.

"You don't find me pleasant?" She asked.

"Apparently you weren't sarcastic and yes, you have your charms," Constantine continued.

"All lies. People had a better sense of humor back then. Look at what God did to Job, we're all a little sick in the head up in the clouds."

"How long do you plan on staying? Jasper was alive the last time you were here for an extended period of time."

"Yes I heard of about that, such a shame. He was a good man. God doesn't tell me when I can go back. For the time being think of me as your guardian angel," she said.

"I already have one," he said.

"What? I wasn't told about this...who?" She asked looking genuinely hurt. A steady rush of air came from the left, time seemed to stand still and standing tall in the room was Manny.

"Manny," Urielle said her voice sweet yet full of thorns.

"Urielle," he said almost condescending.

"You two know each other?" John asked.

"Yes of course we do. She's still well known in heaven, only Catholics gave her the cut from their religion. Can see why, she's pain in the ass. Thought you didn't run with angels, ruined your reputation," Manny said in an indifferent tone to which Urielle gave a crooked smile.

"Always nice to see you," she said her wings seeming to extend as if she were an animal making herself bigger to scare away predators.

"Urielle and I are friends, she helps in my situations instead of mocking me. Now what are you doing here?" John asked the angel.

"I've come to warn you. Stop pursuing the places on the map, you'll get yourself killed," Manny replied.

"It's my job to help these people, death is an occupational hazard. Why now does my guardian angel want to help? Where were you when the spirits of the miners were about to kill me? Or when I was strapped down and dying? You've only helped once and it was to help legions of people. If you can't tell me a good reason why I should stop doing my job then I suggest you piss off," John said.

"Fine," Manny said disappearing, time going back to normal.

"You know he's not allowed to tell you why, God told him not to. However I wasn't put under such an oath," Urielle said.

"Then you tell me Uri," John said.

"There's a lot of activity-" a cleared throat interrupted her. John and Urielle looked over at Zed.

"Sorry Love, completely forgot," Constantine said.

"Who's this?" she asked indicating to Uri.

"Um…Zed…this is Urielle…you may wanna sit down," John said.

"So along with fighting demons, and fake angels, you ally with real angels?" Zed asked after John finished explaining Urielle.

"Yeah, when she gets sent down, she teams up with us for a while," John said.

"If you're an Angel, where are your wings?" Zed asked her.

"Ah, yes. In time you'll see them but to human eyes," she turned away and pulled up her shirt to show her back. Scars in the shape of folded feathered wings covered her back but Constantine and Chas saw her massive wings stretch to their full span. "This is what you'll see."

"I thought angels were men," Zed said.

"No but it's a common misconception. Technically I was a man, then God created Eve and some Angels asked God to make us look in her image, well the image God made her. Wanting us to be happy, he obliged and gave us the ability to change our appearance to how we wish to look. So I went from Uriel to Urielle or Uri, though it's still pronounced the same," Urielle explained.

"Oh I see," Zed said.

"So Uri you were going to tell me what Manny couldn't, I have a map full of places that need my help and very little time," John said cutting the Q and A short.

"New Orleans," Urielle said plainly.

"What?"

"We go to New Orleans, tomorrow," she said.

"Why?" John asked.

"Want the long version or the short version? The long version is read by Tim Curry," she said.

"Short version," John replied getting a little irritated.

"Hell is going to make a preemptive strike against heaven. They're itching to do anything to test the limits. Anything and I mean anything, petty dabblers, stupid kids, witches, voodoo anything and where is the most concentrated force of dark magic?" Gabe explained.

"New Orleans…" John said like it was common knowledge.

Uri nodded. "There ya go baby."

"It's settled then, we go back to New Orleans tomorrow," John said nodding at Chas and he picked Urielle up and whisked her into his room closing the door behind him with her giggling and squealing the whole way.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The four of them got up the next day and packed to go to New Orleans. Spells of a voodoo nature or even just a coven took time to piece together so they were probably going to be there awhile. Piling into Zed's truck and beginning another long drive this time to Louisiana. Once they arrived, the drive being mainly quiet (except a few battles for the radio and Chas and Uri not keeping things PG in the back seat), they parked at the hotel and stepped out of the vehicle.

"Doesn't look too cursed, just really hot," John said.

A little ways from them was a small group of college kids. One turned to John and said…sang: (Nelly's Hot in Here)

"Hot in…. So hot in here…So hot in….oh!"

Then another busted out with:

"I was like, good gracious ass bodacious, Flirtatcious, tryin' to show faces Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know), Lookin' for the right time to flash them keys, Then um I'm leavin', please believing. Me and the rest of my heathens. Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin'. No deceivin', nothin' up my sleeve, no teasin'. I need you to get up up on the dance floor. Give that man what he askin' for. Cuz I feel like bustin' loose and I feel like touchin' you. And can't nobody stop the juice so baby tell me what's the use?"

The song continued as John stared at them dumbfounded. His mouth agape but nothing came out but noises of confusion. So like this;

"?"

Turning to Uri who was smiling and bobbing with the music he finally said.

"The hell was that? Did you do that?"

"No, I would've picked a better song," she said.

John shrugged it off like nothing was happening and it was just something weird he could add to his list of weird shit in his life. Taking their bags into the lobby he went up to the desk and checked in. The man said he was glad to have them as guests then it happened. A bunch of the bellhops began dancing and a man behind them sang:

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie, and we'll provide the rest. Soup du jour! Hot hors d'oeuvres! Why, we only live to serve!"

John glared at Urielle, anger streaking his face, grabbing her shoulder as she laughed and swayed back and forth. "What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing," she laughed, "I'm not doing this I swear."

"Then what the hell is going on?" he asked as he dragged her by her arm towards the rooms.

"Someone cursed the city to start singing and dancing when they hear something that makes them think of a song," she replied.

"That's awesome," Chas said.

"No it's not! This is torture," John said.

"It's ok John, we'll solve this. It can't be that bad," Zed said to which John huffed and walked past them to his room.

**************  
>In the safety of his and Zed's room, John unpacked for their stay. Chas and Urielle were in the next room over doing the same, he hoped. Zed didn't look up when she broke the silence.<p>

"Have you and Urielle ever…?"

"Heavens no, since Chas and I met Jasper she and Chas have been a thing. She was already working with Jasper when we joined up. Plus the perky, upbeat angel isn't exactly my type. She's happy with Chas and he's happy with her," John replied.

"But doesn't he have a daughter? And I've heard that he's slept with other women," Zed continued.

"Urielle is an Archangel…here's a lesson in Angel hierarchy. There is God, in his army of Angels, there are the regular angels, nameless soldiers. Then Guardian Angels like Manny, think of them as Officers in this celestial military. At the top we have The Archangels, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Urielle, Chamuel, Jophiel, and Zadkiel. The seven of them are God's Generals. Urielle is a very important angel, but she tends to cause trouble. When she does, God plucks one of her feathers off her wings and sends her to Earth. Because it's God and not a human who took her feather she's safe here. Appears normal to the general public, however if she appears in your visions you'll probably see her wings. She stays on Earth for however long God sees fit. The shortest was a few hours, longest was 6 or 7 years. During those years she and Chas were in a way, married. They have an agreement that while she's here, he belongs solely to her. But she will end up going back up. Though it hurts her to watch, she knows that it could be years before she comes back. And Chas has needs that she can't fulfill from Heaven, so she lets him fool around with others while she's gone," John explained.

"That's sad and romantic all at the same time," Zed said.

"Yes it's tragic," John said like he didn't care.

"You mentioned something about having her wings clipped," she said.

"Ah…yes…Urielle does some questionable things but she has never committed a true crime in the eyes of God. If she did, then another Archangel, probably Gabriel, would cut off her wings and she'd be human and stuck here the rest of her life. She'd be immortal and for her that means sharing a life here with Chas-"

"That doesn't sound bad," Zed interrupted.

"Yes until he dies, and I die, and she remains here for century after century alone, does that sound good to you?" John asked.

"No…it doesn't what would she have to do for that to happen?" Zed asked.

"Most of the rules are things we won't understand but one of them is she has to be careful with Chas, if they conceive a child, a Nephilim, she would surely be stripped of her wings, cast down and await her punishment. Same as Azazel, it's the worst thing an angel can do," John replied.

"Who?" Zed asked

"An angel called Azazel bred with a human woman, a Cainite woman and Azazel was put into chains, cast into a pit of sharp and pointed stones in the desert Dudael, and covered with darkness, and he remains there until the great day of judgment, when he will be thrown into the fiery pit of hell, and the earth would be healed of the corruption he had contrived upon it. He wouldn't say in front of me or you but Chas loves Urielle, and she loves him. The last time she was here, she had been here 6 years. He didn't think I noticed but they wore rings," John said with a chuckle, "Yes…so we should call room service and get some food, a wakeup call, the works."

John picked up the phone and dialed the desk first, "Front desk," said a woman's voice.

"Yes love I need a wake up-" he was cut off

"So wake me up when it's all over. When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost-" the woman sang.

"Shut up!" John shouted and hung up, "I am going to kill Urielle for this. Damn Footloose Curse!"

"Footloose Curse?" Zed asked.

"The last time this sort of thing happened it made a man like the mayor in Footloose. He arrived after the curse was in full swing, he was traumatized by the whole ordeal. I hope we get this solved fast," he said picking up the phone, "What do you want to eat?"

"Bananas sound good," Zed replied going into the bathroom.

"Yes I'd like some bananas," John started his order.

"Let me hear you say this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" the guy on room service sang.

"Damn it Zed!" John shouted while Zed laughed from the bathroom.


End file.
